Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I Love You

Seems like so many of my posts are related to time and milestones… So this post will be as well…

One year ago I officially 'revealed' this blog. It was hard to do, but I'm so glad I did. Although I've neglected this blog more than I intended to after Baby Blossom was born, I can't tell you how much it has helped me to document our story which was, as I'm sure you know by now, full of ups and downs.

When I first 'revealed' the blog to the world of social media, the support I got was phenomenal. So many women with similar stories came to me and I loved having the opportunity to pour out love to them and their babies. I love this graphic from Pregnancy After Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss. It is a reminder of how many women have lost and that we aren't in this alone.

My heart beats for those women who have experienced tragedy while walking along the path toward motherhood. I initially thought that perhaps today in light of it being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day I would publish my post of things to not say to someone who has experienced pregnancy loss. But as candles all over are being lit in remembrance of these precious lives, to publish the aforementioned post seemed a little too negative. For today, I want to tell a story of encouragement and light. I want to tell of a story of someone who helped me immensely along the path to healing after I lost Sweet Pea.

SO this is the story of my dad, commonly known as Poppy.

Telling family that you miscarried after you just told them that you are pregnant is excruciating. Different members respond differently. Some don't respond at all. Some fly to your side. Some cry with you and remind you that you didn't do anything wrong and that there's nothing wrong with you just because this horrible thing happened. Some don't understand because why should you cry over someone you never met. And some family members say just the right thing at just the right time, whether they knew it was the right thing at the right time or not.

A few days after my D&C, I got a text from my Poppy. And it said "I'm going to tell you everyday that I love you until you stop crying and start smiling again." A few days after my D&C, I was still a total wreck… well quite honestly a few months after my D&C, I was still a total wreck. I cried. I cried a lot. I never resisted the urge to cry because I knew that I needed to grieve my baby fully, with everything inside me and so when I knew I was going to cry I just gave into it and I wailed.

But one day I eventually did stop crying. One day I eventually began to smile again. And every day in-between those 2 events, I got a text from my Poppy saying "I love you."

The greatest gift we can give someone is our love. And sometimes the second greatest gift is the reminder that you are so supremely loved even in the midst of all the brokenness and the heartache and tears. I know that I needed that constant reminder during my dark time.

So thank you to my Poppy for reminding me everyday that you loved me until I stopped crying and started smiling again. I love you too.

And that sweet friends, is a perfect example of the right thing to say to someone who has experienced a pregnancy loss.